I wasn’t sure that I even wanted to touch this topic, but then I thought, “maybe it will help others who need some help”. So here we are.

About 5 years ago, my beloved father, James R Villepigue, was tragically murdered. I won’t go into the details, as they’re not what I want you to remember from this post. What you do need to know, is that I was on the verge of wanting to end my own life. My dad was everything to me, my mom and my sister.

My mom was here in NY, visiting me and my sister. My parents had retired to their 5,000 square foot dream home on Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia. My sister was living with her husband, also on Long Island.

My dad decided to stay home, as it was only going to be a short trip for my mom. On the second day of my mom’s trip, my dad already missed her, so he decided to go visit their friends in North Carolina. It was about a 3 hour trip. My mom and I spoke with my dad on a Thursday evening. I got on the phone with him and he sounded a bit sad, but he was very loving toward me. He told me that he missed me and I felt like he was acting a bit strange, as if something were wrong. I told him that the next time we got together, that we should go out for a beer. He said, “Jimmy, I would love that!”. Those were the last words I ever had with my dad.   

At the time, I was living in a tiny studio apartment, in Long Island, New York. It had one small room, where I had my bed, a small work desk and a television and one tiny room with a small kitchen. My mom brought a blow up mattress and stayed in my kitchen for the two days that she was staying.

When we received the news of his death, we all went into shock. The three of us can barely remember what we did following the news and how we ever managed to take care of things regarding his death.

The three of us just jumped on a plane and went to North Carolina, to claim my dad’s body. We spent a few days out there and than made our way to my parent’s Virginia home, to see how my dad left the house. We were hoping to find signs of life that he left behind. It’s so strange, but it was as if he knew that his life was going to end.

We took care of what we needed to take care of and than the three of us were on our way back to NY. My mom wanted to stay in Virginia, but I wouldn’t allow her to. I knew that she would become severely depressed and just insisted that she stay with me, in my tiny studio apartment. Long story short, we lived in that apartment for over 1 year! Ask me how and I cannot tell you. I guess that we were just so traumatized, that we just made do. I bought my mom a comfortable bed to replace the blow up mattress and there we were.

Life was tough. No matter what we did, we were constantly haunted by the tragedy. We didn’t talk to each other about it much, because if whenever we tried, we would just go deeper and deeper into depression. During the day, my mom would usually go and meet with my sister, while I made my way to the local gym, which I owned. The days were tough, but at least I could try and stay distracted with work. The nights were a different story. You know how when you’re sick, that you always feel worse at night? This is often because your body and bodily functions begin to slow down a bit. Well the same thing happens when you’re not sick. At night, we would endlessly think about what had happened to my dad. Luckily, I would force myself to go to my gym and train. At first, it was just me. I remember my first workout following my dad’s murder. I turned on the radio and began training. All of a sudden I started crying and I became incredibly angry. I managed to use the emotions and anger to fuel my workout. I did this for a week by myself, before I made my mom come with me.

Every night, we would head down to the gym around 11:00 P.M. and I would hit the weights, while mom walked on the treadmill. Together, we would allow our bodies to vent and help us deal with the stress. As the weeks passed by, we would be back and fourth to North Carolina, working on the legal aspects of my dad’s murder. When we returned to NY, it was business as usual.

If I didn’t have those workouts and that meditative time to physically and emotionally work things out, I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would have either been dead, been in jail for hurting someone else or I would have become a drug addict. The exercise kept me and my mom sane. My sister took care of herself in a similar way.

Fitness Saved My Life! When I think back, and I do every single day, I actually miss those late night workouts. They were more therapeutic and meditative than anything I have ever experienced. My mom still often makes mention about how she loved those particular workout sessions.

 
Life Happens!
To this day, my family is still in the midst of a murder trial and as such, the three of us continue to flow on this emotional roller coaster. I continue you use fitness as a means to keep myself emotionally & physically balanced. Like you, I have my good days and I have my not so good days. One thing howver is always constant, my therapeutic workout sessions. 

When I first began working out, I did it then for different reasons than the ones I use it for today. Back then, I no longer wanted to be fat. I wanted to fit in with the other "normal" kids. To be candid, I also wanted a girl friend and I just didn't seem to be attracting any. So, as you can see, those were the timely issues that fueled my desire to workout. Today, I train to feel good, stay healthy and I receive the bonus of the superficial aesthetics that fuel most peoples reasons for working out. Don't get me wrong, I want to look good and it's as important to me as it was back then. The priority of my reasons have only taken different roles.

Life Heppens and with life comes good days and tough ones. Fitness is a great way to counter those tough days, as it will provide you with a combination of overall physical & emotional strengthening. This is your greatest weapon for changing a bad mood into a great one.  

When people think about taking on a fitness lifestyle or wonder if the alleged benefits of fitness are in fact, real, I am a perfect example of this fact. Those workouts helped to balance my emotions with all of the chemical toxins (Cortizol) and stress that was going through my entire body. It had become the only thing that helped me get through that terrible time and I thank GOD, that it was already a part of my life.

If you are depressed or going through a tough time in your life, exercise may be ONE of the few things that snap you back into a healthy physical and emotional state. If you are feeling down, make sure to always check with your health care professional for a proper diagnosis. Exercise is a Godsend, but it is not a means to replace what a medical professional advises. Together, I have no doubt that they can save many lives!  

I will leave you by saying that if you need to hear more about how fitness saved my life and want to learn more about how it can enrich your own life, please comment on this post and let me know if you need a helping hand. I’ll Be There!

Keep Going!

James Villepigue CSCS